I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
