Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
