I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
