my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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