I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize