Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
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