Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
