U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
