he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
