i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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