So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize