Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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