but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
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