Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Please don't give away my fajitas
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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