dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
