Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
