Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
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