I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I just blew my weed a kiss
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.