you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.