Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?