"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?