we're chasing vodka with high fives
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.