If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I currently don't understand fingers.
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