Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
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Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Oh god it's open bar.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize