i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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