did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
