you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
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