when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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