Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Ketchup is God's man juice
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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