his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I still have a little drunk in my system
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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