the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
