My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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