it's not cheating when I paid for it
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
All the doctor said was why
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
