dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
the night ended with taco bell and tears
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
