i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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