I cockslap morals
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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