I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
4 words: hood of his car
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize