Swine flu. Run for my life!
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
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