it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize