I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
