yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Even my vagina gasped.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
