Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
