I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
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