could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
