Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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