Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
