let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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