Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
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I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
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if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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