remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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