Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
COCAINE IS GR8
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
