If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize