turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Randomize
