Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Randomize
