he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
