this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
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literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
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You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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