Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
