i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
